A Love Letter to the Mamas
/How I found rest when there was none.
This post is for the mamas, for the caretakers, the aunties and the grandmas. If I could write ya’ll a love letter daily I would. You hold the world together with your compassionate arms and your gritty spirits. You don’t give up on your people, even when they are harder than ever to serve and your bones are tired to the core. It’s all the little things, done everyday, that are rarely seen, but hold the significance of a lifetime in their balance. The reassuring glance as your little walks into their classroom that says, “You got this little man, mama sees you and she knows who you are- and you are a giant in the making.” It’s the table set night after night, even when its grilled cheese and whatever else you can find in the fridge, that gives your family a place to gather and respite from the day. It’s freshly folded laundry that you stayed up way too late to fold- but means the field trip outfit is ready to go for the next day. This is love. It’s the kind of love that writes a story that is told for generations because it’s doing love. It’s the kind we don’t even notice because we have already chosen it long ago.
It’s beautiful to think about, to write about, to reminisce on- but the doing, the actual doing. That’s a different story. The actual doing in the everyday, when the mundane doesn’t just feel mundane but feels overwhelming and suffocating- that’s a different story.
It can feel like a hamster wheel without an exit or being stuck in the movie Groundhog Day but with piles of laundry and dishes that never go away.
The thing is, though- you wouldn’t want an exit if you could take it. You know you are in the right place.
But what you do want, what you truly want in your depths, is a place for your soul to breath. Deep, restoring breaths that enable you to take in the moments and actually be fully present and miracle of all miracles, fold the laundry with joy.
This was the dream in my heart. To truly love the precious life I already had. The dream that I could find rest too, when I was the mama and the next meal wouldn’t make itself nagged at my soul.
It came in the unexpected answer of Sabbath Rest. Not to be confused with recreation or relaxation or even sleep. But soul rest. The kind of rest that you treasure and guard by saying no to things that would crowd it out. It meant anchoring my days around the truth, that to do this life of care-taking well, meant that I couldn’t run from the fact that I needed rest too.
First step meant for me meant deciding to taking a full day off each week to provide space to even have the possibility of soul rest. The task felt daunting- do mom’s even get a full day off? Does anyone? How does that work?
It’s not something that comes over night, it’s something you work at and prepare for. Something you fail at and try again. But the first step is the most important one and it comes from making the decision that you need to give your soul a place to breathe in your everyday life.
Unction comes first, and then a plan. So now it’s your turn to decide if you will make soul rest a priority- and I hope you do. We can do it together.
Cheering you along,
Candace
